when i am king v

All toasters will be designed by HR Giger.

when i am king iv

There will be an advisory board to approve or deny cover versions, thus preventing sonic atrocities such as Bruce Dickinson's slaughter of All the Young Dudes.

(A tip of the crown to Kevin M. for the genesis of this royal decree)

when i am king iii

All late-night infomercials will be banned and replaced with this as a test pattern.

The Washington Monument will be torn down and replaced with this:

Photo courtesy of cellar.org


Meet your new Poet Laureate.

when i am king ii

All subway announcements will be delivered through a Vocoder.

when i am king

Whenever three or more people are waiting in a line or at the bus stop,
they must practice tai chi.

Every organ at every sports arena will be replaced with a Mellotron.

This will be the new national anthem.