your moment of zen

Yesterday's tomorrow is rarely today.

thought for the day

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Depending on how gracious one may be feeling, this maxim could mean that good ideas can come from unlikely sources, or that even idiots get lucky now and then.

five maxims to live by v

Life is one big joke. Laugh along, or else the joke is on you.

No one deserves to go to heaven, and very few deserve to go to hell.

Misheard lyrics often make more sense than the actual ones.

It's good to fall down--it reminds you why you're standing up.

If life hands you a lemon, squeeze it 'til the juice runs down your leg.

five maxims to live by iv

1. True mistakes are never malicious.

2. There are always more than two choices, except when there are not.

3. If you can't say anything nice, take a walk.

4. Initial information is rarely accurate.

5. Cult movies are born, not made.

five maxims to live by iii

Life is too short for conspiracy theories.

Someone always has a crappier job than you.

Performance art is a scam.

A watched boil never pops.

Heaven is a large pillow.

five maxims to live by ii

If there is preparation, there is no regret.

Horseplay leads to horseshit.

There is no I in team, but there is an m and an e.

WWFD -- What Would Frank Do?

It takes two to wango tango.

five maxims to live by

Everyone is entitled to an opinion--all opinions are not created equal.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drown.

It's better to be pissed off than to be pissed on.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Never trust someone who prefers Van Hagar.

celebrating the season of lint

A dry towel is not necessarily a clean towel.

who's afraid of aphorisms?

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of the day.

Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.