2007 Resolutions:
Hi, my name is Matt, and I'm a procrastinator. How bad is it? Well, a friend bought me Shaun of the Dead for Christmas in 2005, and I watched it for the first time this evening (it's excellent--rent it this weekend). My front license plate was knocked off my front bumper in 2004, and I still have it perched on the dashboard where it slides off at every sharp left turn. I filed my local tax forms for 2003 about three weeks ago. Pathetic. Stunningly, absurdly, surreally pathetic.
No more. Nothing will be pushed aside in 2007. Dishes will be washed instantly. Laundry mountains will be even less than molehills. Movies will be watched as soon as they are rented or purchased. Items on loan will be returned to their proper owners in a fashion more timely than Big f*cking Ben.
My name is Matt, and I'm a devastator.
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